I JUST LOVE YOU SO MUCH THAT IT MAKES ME SO HAPPY THAT I COULD BURST.

And it’s really a problem so stop being so damn cute.

Thanks.

Sometimes I get so full of optimism and sunshine that I could explode

thinking about a million memories that we haven’t made

and friends that we haven’t met

a house that we haven’t bought

(a tree house that we haven’t built)

and It makes me feel like such a dork to imagine waking up next to your face every

single

day

because we are so

so

unconventional.

But it feels so

so

right.

Oh goodness my love, you make me smile.

I need you to 

smile

I’ve always needed you to

smile

because when you 

smile

you give me a reason to 

smile

and i need a reason to

smile 

so

smile

i need you to 

smile

Let me show you the blueprint of my heart and you will see that there are many rooms and many floors but right now you just see empty space, you don’t know what’s inside the rooms but i’ll give you a hint. There’s a room full of black tar and the smell of cigarette’s on someone’s hands in the middle of winter. There is a room where it is constantly snowing hard, white out. there is a room where you are not allowed to speak there is a room where all you do is sleep. There is a room with happiness spread from wall to wall and sometimes I throw parties there, nobody that was invited ever shows up but just wait until you see who does- because somewhere far down there is an itch in your heart that you are afraid to scratch for fear of what will leak out. it’s one of those late evenings fading into a new day where the lines between morning and night are blurred with my eyesight, i feel like i’m disappearing every time I cross the street and I still haven’t had a moment of sleep. I could make the bed or I could never get out of it, and if that’s true then what’s the difference? There’s no heaven ad there’s certainly no hell but I’ve been to both and brought you something from the gift shop. The devil said hi by the way, and that he misses the way you used to come around. I want to see how everyone’s insides work, what makes them run and what they see when they are so close to death. If the moon smiled, she would resemble me. Both leave the same impression of something beautiful but annihilating, although i’ve never been as skilled at borrowing light. We all fought our way into this world and we will fight our way out, we may tire ourselves out from struggling and drown but we will not sink. Let’s turn these blurry morning seconds into moments and continue the struggle to find beauty in exhaustion, to find ourselves in the street lights. It’s a new day it’s a new day, there has got to be a way to get this right.

I will stop loving you

And one day, I will find someone else that can make me just as happy as you make me

One day, we won’t be as close

and one day, I won’t want to spend the rest of my life with you anymore.

(April fools)

I fucking love you.

So deal with that and understand it.

I’m just going to stop bringing up how I remotely feel about anyone else.